Mesh all a MESS

Another bout of insomnia...so I blog. Will ya pray for me? I love starting a blog post like this. I have this friend who is constantly saying, "pray for me!!” -always in complete desperation of her situation. Not that it is a bad thing to need prayer- I think we all need it daily. But still, every conversation seems to breed a whole new prayer chain- it has sort of been a bee in my bonnet for a while. I find it very amusing that I am now taking a feather out of her book. This may be the Lord providing an opportunity for a little growth in my heart...maybe an attempt to build a little more compassion a friend. Hmmm...so I humbly ask...If you pray...will you think of me? Here's why. Last May I had surgery to correct a pretty significant hernia in my belly. I have experienced chronic pain and several serious infections ever since. Last week, I woke up to another infection along the incision line. My entire lower abdomen was bright red and just plain gross. It really scared me as the last time it had gotten that infected; I ended up in the hospital for several days. This time, I wasted no time getting to an ER doctor for some antibiotics. I then made an appointment for my family doctor to see if I needed to get a second opinion about the whole thing. I mean really... how much more of this can I take? It has almost been 8 months since this saga began. My family doctor told me not to get a second opinion because doctors will play the blame game...it was the other one's fault... and then I may be in pain for the rest of my life. He said, "Go back to the man who did this to you and tell him to fix it". So that is exactly what I did. Yesterday, I saw the surgeon again. He is a very kind man and I respect him greatly. He looked at my belly and became pretty grave. This has to be the scariest thing someone could go through. You know that old expression- the eyes are the window to the soul. I totally get that! He basically told me that there may be an issue with the meshing they used in the hernia repair and that he may need to remove it and then use a biological meshing instead. Then he said some magical words... abdomen reconstruction...in other words a medically necessary tummy-tuck. He said that the excess skin around my abdomen may be causing extra drag against my incision and could be part of the issue. He said that if they did a new repair it would benefit healing to remove the excess skin. Clearly I have some serious skin issues on my belly. Let’s be honest here- after having bariatric surgery I lost a lot of weight and there is just no way around the skin issues. So I had pondered a tummy-tuck once or twice...ahem... But I guess I never thought I would really be able to afford to do it. So I put it into the "someday I wish upon a star" category. I never thought the decision would be sort of made for me in this way. Sort of a blessing in disguise but the reality is; it is still major surgery. So I went from just imagining life without the extra 30 lbs of hanging skin to facing the reality of weeks of pain and suffering that come with this kind of surgery. I'm not sure I am up for it. In a couple of hours I am scheduled to have a CAT scan on my belly to see if this mesh is infected and I guess to plan a course for my surgeon. And I cannot sleep- so I cling to the promises of God. If you are the praying sort and feel led to do so...will ya pray for me? I could really use it. 1 Peter 5:7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Philippians 4:4-9 4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.