This morning it was raining and kind of yucky out. A friend had offered to take the girls and I to a play date at our church. Unfortunatly, her son was sick and so she called an canceled. My children we really excited about getting out of the house, so I hung my head and shared the bad news. There was some mild wailing and nashing of teeth but eventually they came around. I decided to do something different with homeschool beyond the standard ABC's 123's to keep everyone interested. Russ and I are taking several road trips this year and have decided to use each trip as a homeschooling opportunity. This is as good a time as ever to start learning-so off we went.
I decided to talk about our very own state of Indiana. I found some coloring pages on www.crayloa.com that were very helpful. That got the girls interested. The page had the state bird, flower, flag, and capital on it. While my daughter colored the flag I searched the internet for information about the flag. This is what I found out. The state of Indiana was founded in 1816 the flag was not accepted until 1917. There are 19 stars on the flag representing the 19 states that were part of the Union at the time Indiana was accepted as a state. The first 13 stars on the flag represent the 13 colonies, the 5 stars represent the next 5 entered into the Union and the last star represents the new state of Indiana the 19th state of the United States of America! The tourch represents Liberty and Enlightenment. All very facinating. I grew up in Illinois and was taught all about that flag when I was in 4th grade. I only remember small snipits of that information- so this has been oodles of fun for me. The state bird is a cardinal. THis is also true for my old home in Illinois as well as Kentucky, North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia. Who knew!! I also taught them to sing Back Home Again in Indiana. I learned this song (not out of devotion to our lovely state) but instead as a show song for the Sweet Adleines when I was in college. So glad I did! I am excited to start study on the next state! We are heading to Chicago for a wedding in a couple of weeks so I think the next state to study will be Illinois~ good to share my roots with my kiddies!
Homeschooling can be so difficult sometimes and then there are days like this that give me such hope and encouragement. I am so glad that I stuck through the difficult times!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Satisfied
I was watching the Time Traveler's Wife. Not an extraordinary movie by any stretch of the imagination but I did glean something. The family in the movie has been separated over the course of their relationship because the husband is a time-traveler. This is of course painful for the family that is left waiting for him as he travels time. The wife is looking for some sort of normal existence and you really want it for her too. She finds out she is pregnant and then loses the baby. This happens again and they allude to the idea that she has lost several babies. Finally the husband gets a vasectomy but he time-travels as a younger man and they again meet up. They come together and she becomes pregnant. This baby survives and they are more than happy as a family only to discover his time is limited and their dreams of normalcy are not possible. They have to be satisfied with the life they are given.
This really spoke to me. These people, while of course fictional, were able to be satisfied with a life that was far less than desirable and the circumstances were beyond their control. This is the description of my life-I am living in circumstances that are beyond my control. It is beyond my control to have another baby. This has been the one thought that has plagued my mind for years- why me? Why do I have to have this struggle- why is it so hard for me? Words that scream selfishness. I have known people who have no children and may never have any-their pain is real and yet I think of my self. I have been blessed with two children. Two children that make me laugh every day and bring unspeakable joy to our home and yet I long for more. There is no satiating the longing in my heart for a large family. But how many times can God bless me before I will just be satisfied? How much is enough?
As I watched this mind-numbing movie I was struck by the idea that satisfaction is a choice we have to make. Choosing to remember that God is good and my daughters are enough for me! I can be satisfied with God's will for our family because it is good and it is right. I will choose not to struggle for something that is not His will. A long time ago, I learned this simple little song taken from the Psalms. Its words have lingered in my heart. This song has sort of been romancing me to the Lord over and over.
"God you are my God. Earnestly, I'll seek Your face. I will lift You high. I will lift You high. I will lift Your name on high. How I thirst for You. Every day I thirst for You. I will lift You high. I will lift You high. I will lift Your name on High. I have seen you in the sanctuary. I have seen Your power and I have seen Your glory. I am satisfied by You. I am satisfied by You."
Today, I thought about the words and wondered how many times in my life I have been satisfied with an answer that God gave me. I don't remember any. I am unsatisfied and unhappy with the word no. So I have fought for my own way. Striving to get what I want no matter the cost. But now I have to choose to be satisfied. Choose to accept that God knows my story better than I do and His choice for my life is good and it is right. It is not easy.
This really spoke to me. These people, while of course fictional, were able to be satisfied with a life that was far less than desirable and the circumstances were beyond their control. This is the description of my life-I am living in circumstances that are beyond my control. It is beyond my control to have another baby. This has been the one thought that has plagued my mind for years- why me? Why do I have to have this struggle- why is it so hard for me? Words that scream selfishness. I have known people who have no children and may never have any-their pain is real and yet I think of my self. I have been blessed with two children. Two children that make me laugh every day and bring unspeakable joy to our home and yet I long for more. There is no satiating the longing in my heart for a large family. But how many times can God bless me before I will just be satisfied? How much is enough?
As I watched this mind-numbing movie I was struck by the idea that satisfaction is a choice we have to make. Choosing to remember that God is good and my daughters are enough for me! I can be satisfied with God's will for our family because it is good and it is right. I will choose not to struggle for something that is not His will. A long time ago, I learned this simple little song taken from the Psalms. Its words have lingered in my heart. This song has sort of been romancing me to the Lord over and over.
"God you are my God. Earnestly, I'll seek Your face. I will lift You high. I will lift You high. I will lift Your name on high. How I thirst for You. Every day I thirst for You. I will lift You high. I will lift You high. I will lift Your name on High. I have seen you in the sanctuary. I have seen Your power and I have seen Your glory. I am satisfied by You. I am satisfied by You."
Today, I thought about the words and wondered how many times in my life I have been satisfied with an answer that God gave me. I don't remember any. I am unsatisfied and unhappy with the word no. So I have fought for my own way. Striving to get what I want no matter the cost. But now I have to choose to be satisfied. Choose to accept that God knows my story better than I do and His choice for my life is good and it is right. It is not easy.
Friday, March 5, 2010
MOPS MOM
I was introduced to MOPS or Mother's Of Pre-Schoolers just after Maddie was born. I was on maternity leave for 12 weeks and it just happened to coinside with the beginning of MOPS that year. So wonderful! I was a little bit of a mess and totally over-protective of the-most-wonderful-child-in-the-history-of-the-world!!! Funny how our perspectives change with time and more children.
For me, MOPS was a breath of fresh air, and I have been a part of it ever since I became a SAHM. I can honestly say that my mothering skills have been influenced by the amazing group of moms that I now call friends. Some are now even the closest friends I have ever had. It is amazing to me the support and strenth you can get from someone who has been in the exact same position that you are in.
While no group of people is perfect, I am more than greatful for these wonderful mommies. Lately, I have been seeing signs that my days as a MOPS mom are coming to an end. I will be writing about our decision regarding our fertility issues in a different post so I won't bore you but it appears we are finished having children and therefore I will no longer be a MOPS Mom. In the last few months I have noticed there a whole new swarm of young motherscoming to MOPS-each Momma going through the same issues that I once had-just trying to keep their heads above water. But now I am the seasoned mom (one of the oldest in our group). When did that happen? Such a strange feeling-it sort of reminded me of high school. I am now in my senior year of MOPS. For instance, I can't believe I am done with diapers completely- it seem like yesterday I was learning to fold over the top of a newborn diaper to accomodate the umbilical cord. How quickly it goes.
The next stage of our lives is moving into focus. Now there is more talk about reading and math than bodily functions. I just wonder where I fit into this next stage. Where will I put my focus now? For so long my world was engaged in nothing but breastfeeding, slings, bottles, diapers, pacies, pac-n-plays, strollers, crawling, walking, biting, potty training and all the various issues you deal with when you have babies and toddlers. Sadly, that time is now over for me and it is bittersweet. No question- I will miss MOPS- but the new adventure is on the horizon though and I am anxious for it to begin.
For me, MOPS was a breath of fresh air, and I have been a part of it ever since I became a SAHM. I can honestly say that my mothering skills have been influenced by the amazing group of moms that I now call friends. Some are now even the closest friends I have ever had. It is amazing to me the support and strenth you can get from someone who has been in the exact same position that you are in.
While no group of people is perfect, I am more than greatful for these wonderful mommies. Lately, I have been seeing signs that my days as a MOPS mom are coming to an end. I will be writing about our decision regarding our fertility issues in a different post so I won't bore you but it appears we are finished having children and therefore I will no longer be a MOPS Mom. In the last few months I have noticed there a whole new swarm of young motherscoming to MOPS-each Momma going through the same issues that I once had-just trying to keep their heads above water. But now I am the seasoned mom (one of the oldest in our group). When did that happen? Such a strange feeling-it sort of reminded me of high school. I am now in my senior year of MOPS. For instance, I can't believe I am done with diapers completely- it seem like yesterday I was learning to fold over the top of a newborn diaper to accomodate the umbilical cord. How quickly it goes.
The next stage of our lives is moving into focus. Now there is more talk about reading and math than bodily functions. I just wonder where I fit into this next stage. Where will I put my focus now? For so long my world was engaged in nothing but breastfeeding, slings, bottles, diapers, pacies, pac-n-plays, strollers, crawling, walking, biting, potty training and all the various issues you deal with when you have babies and toddlers. Sadly, that time is now over for me and it is bittersweet. No question- I will miss MOPS- but the new adventure is on the horizon though and I am anxious for it to begin.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Mad Cooking Skills
Since this blog is a reflection of me- I thought that I would share some of my most successful recipes that are not only easy but they are equally delicious. I am not a chef but any stretch of the imagination. I just love to cook. If you have any suggestions or recipes that you want me to try- please send them my way!
Here are my favorite Chops!
First thing I do is to get the broiler screaming hot while I prep everything else. Then I wrap my broiler pan with foil. Please notice that my broiler pan has been loved on a lot!! My husband saw this picture and got embarassed that it looked so dirty. That didn't embarass me at all. It is seasoned from all the use! :) I have gotten pretty savvy with the broiler pan and use it often. Here is a hint...don't forget to use foil!! It makes clean-up much easier!!
Here are my chops. I usually buy a large pork loin from Sam's Club and cut it into chops or a roast. This is the most economical way for me. Usually a huge pork loin is $16 dollars. It allows me to cut my chops as thick as I like! I leave some of the fat on them for flavor and then remove it before we eat. Lightly coat the chops in olive oil on both sides.
Next season the chops. I prefer McCormicks Roasting Rub (they have several different varieties and they are all delicious. I just tastes and smells really good. If I don't have any I just throw some spices together that I like: garlic, parsley, onion, green onion, cumin etc. whatever sounds good to me that day. If you don't know spices that well- use a purchased rub. So yummy!
Once seasoned, put the chops under the broiler for six minutes per side (depending on the thickness. Bring them to 160 degrees. Then take them out of the oven and let them rest for 10 minutes. They will increase in temp. as they rest. I use an electric meat thermoneter that can stay in the oven and has an alarm (seriously helpful!!). Here they are right out of the oven!
This is not a really good picture but you can get an idea about the meal. Today, I paired this with steamed green beans (I like them crisp-tender)and baked potatoes. Yummy!
Here are my favorite Chops!
First thing I do is to get the broiler screaming hot while I prep everything else. Then I wrap my broiler pan with foil. Please notice that my broiler pan has been loved on a lot!! My husband saw this picture and got embarassed that it looked so dirty. That didn't embarass me at all. It is seasoned from all the use! :) I have gotten pretty savvy with the broiler pan and use it often. Here is a hint...don't forget to use foil!! It makes clean-up much easier!!
Here are my chops. I usually buy a large pork loin from Sam's Club and cut it into chops or a roast. This is the most economical way for me. Usually a huge pork loin is $16 dollars. It allows me to cut my chops as thick as I like! I leave some of the fat on them for flavor and then remove it before we eat. Lightly coat the chops in olive oil on both sides.
Next season the chops. I prefer McCormicks Roasting Rub (they have several different varieties and they are all delicious. I just tastes and smells really good. If I don't have any I just throw some spices together that I like: garlic, parsley, onion, green onion, cumin etc. whatever sounds good to me that day. If you don't know spices that well- use a purchased rub. So yummy!
Once seasoned, put the chops under the broiler for six minutes per side (depending on the thickness. Bring them to 160 degrees. Then take them out of the oven and let them rest for 10 minutes. They will increase in temp. as they rest. I use an electric meat thermoneter that can stay in the oven and has an alarm (seriously helpful!!). Here they are right out of the oven!
This is not a really good picture but you can get an idea about the meal. Today, I paired this with steamed green beans (I like them crisp-tender)and baked potatoes. Yummy!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Great Is Thy Faithfullness
When my husband and I were married I insisted that the song "Great is Thy Faithfullness" be the song I came down the isle to. This song is significant to me for a variety of reasons. There were many years when I was faithless to God. My heart was in direct disobedience to the Lord I loved and like Jonah, I tried (in vain)to hide from His lovely face. That time of my life, so full of sin, makes me grimace when I think of it. Painful memories that sting and burn from the shame. One day, the Lord pulled at me as He had done so many times before and finally I submitted to Him. Through all of that, God had remained faithful to me- just as He had promised (Deut31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you). A constant shelter in the storm of sin I had created.
Recently, I have been going through a pretty significant storm. This storm is different because in this storm my reaction is not to run from God but to trust Him. I have suffered with infertility issues for all of my adult life. My oldest daughter was conceived not during the throws of maritial passion but in a doctor's office which was as sterile an environment as you can imagine. Nothing romantic there. It was the end of a very long two years of doctor's appointments, prescriptions,painful tests, so many negative pregnancy tests(I can't even count them all) and many many tears. Then with a new doctor and a new therapy there was finally hope. Within the first month and by the grace of God finally a new life was formed. My second daughter came as a completely wonderful suprise. I was just feeling tired one day- lo and behold I was pregnant.
A couple of years ago, my husband I decided that it was time to try for our last baby. We had always dreamed of having four children but time has been ticking and the closer 40 seems the less likely that dream will be realized. In the last three months we have been again seeing the fertility doctor for one last shot at having a baby. The first month we did not have any folicles or eggs that were viable for fertilization, the second month there was one egg that was a good size but unfortunately, it did not fertilize. The doctor had warned me that after three unsuccessful cycles, they would likely have to try another type of therapy. On Saturday morning we had an ultrasound and it showed only one folicle and it was slightly too small to fertilize. The nurse told me that it would not be possible to get pregnant this month and that we would have to look into different trying a different therapy. In other words- we would have to do shot therapy. The shots for this therapy are very expensive and our insurance covers $0 for fertility. This was what my husband and I finally decided meant the end. Maybe it is just not the Lord's will for us to have anymore children. I communicated this to the nurse and really I felt at peace with it. I mean, God knows me better than I will ever know myself and His will is perfect. I was really ready to submit to Him and I was ready to accept this as His answer. The nurse was so sweet and said that she understood and that she would call me on Monday after she had spoken to the doctor. She also said not to get too discouraged, that eggs this size can sometimes suprise you and mature later in your cycle. She encouraged me to get an ovulation kit and see if the egg did mature and that I had an LH surge. I did just that and this morning, I had an LH surge which means it is possbile for me to get pregnant. I don't know if the egg will fertilize or if this will be a successful pregnancy (I have had several miscarriages) but what I do know is God is faithful and when we trust in Him- He is faithful to us (no matter what His answer is). God is Greater than infertility even if it means that I won't have anymore babies. I will trust Him for Great is His Faithfullness.
Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Recently, I have been going through a pretty significant storm. This storm is different because in this storm my reaction is not to run from God but to trust Him. I have suffered with infertility issues for all of my adult life. My oldest daughter was conceived not during the throws of maritial passion but in a doctor's office which was as sterile an environment as you can imagine. Nothing romantic there. It was the end of a very long two years of doctor's appointments, prescriptions,painful tests, so many negative pregnancy tests(I can't even count them all) and many many tears. Then with a new doctor and a new therapy there was finally hope. Within the first month and by the grace of God finally a new life was formed. My second daughter came as a completely wonderful suprise. I was just feeling tired one day- lo and behold I was pregnant.
A couple of years ago, my husband I decided that it was time to try for our last baby. We had always dreamed of having four children but time has been ticking and the closer 40 seems the less likely that dream will be realized. In the last three months we have been again seeing the fertility doctor for one last shot at having a baby. The first month we did not have any folicles or eggs that were viable for fertilization, the second month there was one egg that was a good size but unfortunately, it did not fertilize. The doctor had warned me that after three unsuccessful cycles, they would likely have to try another type of therapy. On Saturday morning we had an ultrasound and it showed only one folicle and it was slightly too small to fertilize. The nurse told me that it would not be possible to get pregnant this month and that we would have to look into different trying a different therapy. In other words- we would have to do shot therapy. The shots for this therapy are very expensive and our insurance covers $0 for fertility. This was what my husband and I finally decided meant the end. Maybe it is just not the Lord's will for us to have anymore children. I communicated this to the nurse and really I felt at peace with it. I mean, God knows me better than I will ever know myself and His will is perfect. I was really ready to submit to Him and I was ready to accept this as His answer. The nurse was so sweet and said that she understood and that she would call me on Monday after she had spoken to the doctor. She also said not to get too discouraged, that eggs this size can sometimes suprise you and mature later in your cycle. She encouraged me to get an ovulation kit and see if the egg did mature and that I had an LH surge. I did just that and this morning, I had an LH surge which means it is possbile for me to get pregnant. I don't know if the egg will fertilize or if this will be a successful pregnancy (I have had several miscarriages) but what I do know is God is faithful and when we trust in Him- He is faithful to us (no matter what His answer is). God is Greater than infertility even if it means that I won't have anymore babies. I will trust Him for Great is His Faithfullness.
Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
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