Thursday, July 22, 2010
PCOS and Bariatric Surgery
I found an article recently that shows there is research regarding the affect of bariatric surgery and PCOS or Polycystic Ovary Syndrome on the women's health website. I thought it was interesting. It would be wonderful if my bariatric surgery helped my PCOS! What a miracle that would be!! Here is the web address. http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/polycystic-ovary-syndrome.cfm#m
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
My Goliath My Sling My Rock
I opened my Bible today to the story of David (I Samuel 17). I read the story of the war with the Philistines and then David and Goliath. Goliath was a giant, even by today's standards. A giant of a problem. He was rude and made everyone uncomfortable. He embarrassed and shamed the Israelites- mocking them and their God saying that they will not win the fight. The Israelites were terrified as most of us would also be; frozen by our fears.
David however trusted God and went to single hand combat with this giant- only a sling and 5 stones. What did he see as he walked into the valley between the two armies and saw the full measure of his giant? Did he think of the bear or the lion he had killed as he kept watch over his herd of sheep. Was he confident in his own ability or did he just simply trust in his loving Father and know that it was all going to be OK. For the battle belongs to the Lord.
We all know how the story ends- David kills Goliath with just a single stone and the might of God's strong hand!Don't we all have a Goliath in our lives? A giant that just seems extraordinary and impossible to conquer. For me obesity is my giant. Everyday it is a struggle-an extraordinary struggle. A giant charging at me that I fear and cannot control. Laying here in my bed, I feel the weight pressing on my lungs-making it difficult to breath. My knees and back ache. A constant reminder that my body is suffering from my giant. But today, I choose to take hold of my sling, I have chosen my rock and I choose to fight back. Although I am afraid-This giant will no longer conquer me nor will he defeat me. There will be freedom for me. And in the end I look forward to seeing my giant defeated and the four stones in my hand as if proof of my faithful God- who knows my struggle and loves me anyway and won the battle in spite of my fear.
David however trusted God and went to single hand combat with this giant- only a sling and 5 stones. What did he see as he walked into the valley between the two armies and saw the full measure of his giant? Did he think of the bear or the lion he had killed as he kept watch over his herd of sheep. Was he confident in his own ability or did he just simply trust in his loving Father and know that it was all going to be OK. For the battle belongs to the Lord.
We all know how the story ends- David kills Goliath with just a single stone and the might of God's strong hand!Don't we all have a Goliath in our lives? A giant that just seems extraordinary and impossible to conquer. For me obesity is my giant. Everyday it is a struggle-an extraordinary struggle. A giant charging at me that I fear and cannot control. Laying here in my bed, I feel the weight pressing on my lungs-making it difficult to breath. My knees and back ache. A constant reminder that my body is suffering from my giant. But today, I choose to take hold of my sling, I have chosen my rock and I choose to fight back. Although I am afraid-This giant will no longer conquer me nor will he defeat me. There will be freedom for me. And in the end I look forward to seeing my giant defeated and the four stones in my hand as if proof of my faithful God- who knows my struggle and loves me anyway and won the battle in spite of my fear.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
The issue of weight
The issue of size is one that is debated in so many circles- it is on the cover of every magazine. The magazines at the store read, "How to lose weight and keep it off", "ten pounds in 10 days", "How she lost 20 pounds"- the list goes on and on. I have often thought about that 10 or 20 pounds that the world is so consumed with losing and I wonder, "what do they think of me?" Really, what do they think of me. I am 150 lbs overweight and no diet for 10 days is gonna change that. It would take a life change of gigantic proportions.
A little Shiney-Blonde-Girl history for you- I have never been thin. Never. I have baby pictures of myself that show me with thick arms and legs reaching for a second helping. So thin is not something that I know anything about. I also grew up in a family of smaller people. My siblings were all normal sizes. In fact, some of them were below weight.
When I was a child our bathroom had mirrored tiles on the wall. I would stand in the bathroom naked and position myself so that my body was directly where two of the mirrored tiles met- causing distortion of the image. The image was cut in half. I went to that mirror every day just staring at what it would be like to look normal.
As I grew my weight did too. I had an older friend across the street who told me that if I wanted to be a little smaller that I should just spit out my food and not swallow it. Some time later she told me that if I threw up some of the food I ate I would be able to lose weight or maintain the weight I had. From then on I would binge and purge daily throughout my teens. I once saw an after school special about bulimia and knew they were talking about me- but it didn't matter- I continued to vomit in an effort to keep my weight off. I told few people of my secret shame but even when they would try to help me it would make me hide it even further.
I do not remember a time I have not been on a diet. And for that matter, I have been on every diet I could find- Jenny Craig, LA weight loss, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Metabolite- anything that would make the fat go away. Yet the scale climbed. I have used exercise to manage my weight. Walking on the treadmill until it hit 700 cal and then lifting weights. This was obviously the key to weight loss only then I felt enabled to eat more.
While there are many steryotypes of fat people one being they are all lazy or that they suffer from terrible self-esteem and therefore stuff the pain down with food. There certainly is pain in my life that could result in overeating- no question. I mean how many people fight off the urge to down some ice-cream when they have a bad day. But lazy- I am not. Nor amy I a couch potato and I do not have low self-esteem. I am just fat. The problem is- I love food. Plain and simple. I love to cook, taste, experiment- all of it. I love food. I also love working out, I love going places, keeping a clean house, playing with my kids, dancing and all sorts of other activities.
In today's world, there is no excuse for fat. There is a diet or weight loss guru that can give you all the answers like the biggest loser. A show that I love to watch because it gives me hope. But Jillian Michales is not at my house. Nor is there a personal trainer I have worked with that has given me a loss greater than 35lbs after months of work and starving myself. Being this big is unacceptable for me and for the world I live in. It is not healthy for me nor for my children to see me this way and it is not the way I want to live. I have never wanted this for my life. Yet the weight persists and climbs and my hope of ever being a normal size diminishes.
The simple fact is, I want to do something about it. Something that will work and will free me from the burden that comes with being overweight. As vulnerable as I can be with you. This is not something a 10 day diet will fix. It is life threatening and something has to be done. A life change is what is necessary. This is why I decided to look into bariatric surgery.
About a year and a half ago I told my husband that this was something that I wanted to do for myself and for him. I want to live to see our grandchildren. I want to grow old with my prince charming. Buy a shirt from a normal store. Sit in an airplane seat comfortably. Run up some stairs without losing my breath.
My husband was very apprehensive about the surgery. We went to a bariatric clinic here in Indy. Once we got all of the information from the doctor's he was on board. There was hope for me that one day I will be normal. I want to be clear- I am not looking to be skinny, I just want to be a normal size.
We went through all of the appropriate channels to be approved with the insurance but it was considered an exclusion and there was nothing they could do for us. For a while we gave up on our dream but now it is finally being realized. On July 29th I am having bariatric surgery and I could not be happier. I will post pictures as I begin my journey. There is so much joy when you have hope. Hope for a better life that does not include squeezing into air plane seats or too tight clothes. Praise the Lord for His provision. Freedom is within my reach and I am running for it! My favorite quote will always be from Homer's the Oddessy~ The Journey's the Thing"! This is the start of my journey and I couldn't be more excited!
A little Shiney-Blonde-Girl history for you- I have never been thin. Never. I have baby pictures of myself that show me with thick arms and legs reaching for a second helping. So thin is not something that I know anything about. I also grew up in a family of smaller people. My siblings were all normal sizes. In fact, some of them were below weight.
When I was a child our bathroom had mirrored tiles on the wall. I would stand in the bathroom naked and position myself so that my body was directly where two of the mirrored tiles met- causing distortion of the image. The image was cut in half. I went to that mirror every day just staring at what it would be like to look normal.
As I grew my weight did too. I had an older friend across the street who told me that if I wanted to be a little smaller that I should just spit out my food and not swallow it. Some time later she told me that if I threw up some of the food I ate I would be able to lose weight or maintain the weight I had. From then on I would binge and purge daily throughout my teens. I once saw an after school special about bulimia and knew they were talking about me- but it didn't matter- I continued to vomit in an effort to keep my weight off. I told few people of my secret shame but even when they would try to help me it would make me hide it even further.
I do not remember a time I have not been on a diet. And for that matter, I have been on every diet I could find- Jenny Craig, LA weight loss, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Metabolite- anything that would make the fat go away. Yet the scale climbed. I have used exercise to manage my weight. Walking on the treadmill until it hit 700 cal and then lifting weights. This was obviously the key to weight loss only then I felt enabled to eat more.
While there are many steryotypes of fat people one being they are all lazy or that they suffer from terrible self-esteem and therefore stuff the pain down with food. There certainly is pain in my life that could result in overeating- no question. I mean how many people fight off the urge to down some ice-cream when they have a bad day. But lazy- I am not. Nor amy I a couch potato and I do not have low self-esteem. I am just fat. The problem is- I love food. Plain and simple. I love to cook, taste, experiment- all of it. I love food. I also love working out, I love going places, keeping a clean house, playing with my kids, dancing and all sorts of other activities.
In today's world, there is no excuse for fat. There is a diet or weight loss guru that can give you all the answers like the biggest loser. A show that I love to watch because it gives me hope. But Jillian Michales is not at my house. Nor is there a personal trainer I have worked with that has given me a loss greater than 35lbs after months of work and starving myself. Being this big is unacceptable for me and for the world I live in. It is not healthy for me nor for my children to see me this way and it is not the way I want to live. I have never wanted this for my life. Yet the weight persists and climbs and my hope of ever being a normal size diminishes.
The simple fact is, I want to do something about it. Something that will work and will free me from the burden that comes with being overweight. As vulnerable as I can be with you. This is not something a 10 day diet will fix. It is life threatening and something has to be done. A life change is what is necessary. This is why I decided to look into bariatric surgery.
About a year and a half ago I told my husband that this was something that I wanted to do for myself and for him. I want to live to see our grandchildren. I want to grow old with my prince charming. Buy a shirt from a normal store. Sit in an airplane seat comfortably. Run up some stairs without losing my breath.
My husband was very apprehensive about the surgery. We went to a bariatric clinic here in Indy. Once we got all of the information from the doctor's he was on board. There was hope for me that one day I will be normal. I want to be clear- I am not looking to be skinny, I just want to be a normal size.
We went through all of the appropriate channels to be approved with the insurance but it was considered an exclusion and there was nothing they could do for us. For a while we gave up on our dream but now it is finally being realized. On July 29th I am having bariatric surgery and I could not be happier. I will post pictures as I begin my journey. There is so much joy when you have hope. Hope for a better life that does not include squeezing into air plane seats or too tight clothes. Praise the Lord for His provision. Freedom is within my reach and I am running for it! My favorite quote will always be from Homer's the Oddessy~ The Journey's the Thing"! This is the start of my journey and I couldn't be more excited!
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