What's Next, Lord?

So this morning, I was checking my Twitter feed and there was a blog post by my husband, Russ (russsays.wordpress.com). It revealed some recent sad news for my family and our church. As I read what he wrote, I started to think about my long forgotten blog. I haven't posted on my blog in so long, I literally wondered if it was still active. After an arduous search and panic over passwords and such...here I am. It took me a minute to try and think of how to start fresh on my blog. What would I write about if I were to start over. Here we go. I'm sort of at a fork in the road-if you get what I mean. The road is diverging all over the place and I'm sort of lost. Two weeks ago, my church asked for my resignation. This was not a huge surprise. God had been pressing on me to resign since last May. I had sought counsel from several different sources and they all said the same thing, "I think you know what you need to do. You just need to do it." That was all well and good but I knew best-right? I kept saying, "The Lord will show me when it's His timing". At the time God was practically tap dancing on my head that it was time to leave but still I tarried. What would happen to my kids if we left? What about all of our commitments at our church? What about the congregation, I had grown to deeply love over the years? The friends we cherish dearly and the hope of serving together for years to come. The list of "what-about" went on and on. The situation was becoming more and more obvious but I am, unfortunately, a disobedient coward. Note the self-loathing... So, I was not shocked or surprised by the call for a meeting on a Sunday evening at 5. In fact, I prayed on the way that the Lord help me to graciously accept His sovereign will over the situation. As I left the meeting- more than somewhat deflated and (let's be honest here) totally annoyed-I was assuring myself that this was all in God's will and plan. Easy words to say to someone else, but a whole different story when it is your life, a ministry you loved, your church family...all disappearing in the distance as we drove away from the church for the last time. And regardless of knowing the time had come- it still hurts deeply to walk away without saying goodbye. Our entire family was involved in ministry there, which compounds the loss. My husband learned to play drums and run a sound board. My girls have helped in the nursery, setting up the coffee, playing piano, cleaning, vacuuming, scrubbing toilets, pulling weeds... you name it-we did it. My motto has been, "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord wherever He needs us". And honestly, I still mean that. And as any good Homeschooling family would say- what can we learn from all of this? What was my part in it all and what do I need to repent of? I have seen what forced obedience looks, tastes, feels and smells like...I thinketh-it stinketh. Let's avoid that in the future, shall we? Clearly, it goes far deeper than just that, but I'll spare you the details and just offer this- he is still working on me. Thank God. So, what next? In the last three years, we have learned more about God's utter awesomeness! Pouring over His word, growing in our faith and trust of Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us (Ephesians 3:20. What a gift it is to know Him and love Him. Serving Him is ways I would have never considered. That is so cool. Seeing my daughters learn to love serving the Lord-wherever He needs us to serve. I've learned about true adoration, His beautiful worship. Singing like I never knew I could. Memorizing His word like I never knew I could. All for His glory. Psalm 34:8 Oh taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the girl who takes refuge in Him!...I may have changed that a bit to fit the situation!! ;) I've learned to lead others to Him through this crazy gift God gave me as a child. I've learned to faithfully serve Him. No more excuses. If I said I would be there- I will find a way to be there. All in all-The Lord gave me a chance to serve Him. It's been an amazing, painful, beautiful, mind-blowing experience. And I am so grateful. So, what's next, Lord. What's next?